Some researchers have also observed that people whose childhood homes were disrupted by alcohol-related problems may have greater difficulties managing their adult lives. Research has indicated thatsome adult children of alcoholics have problems with procrastination, with honesty, with forming close, trusting relationships, and with learning to have fun. Some children of alcoholics worked so hard throughout their childhoods to be the mature caregiver to their childlike, substance-abusing, dependent parent, that they find it impossible to stop acting as a caregiver. They are unable to make choices that benefit themselves, sacrificing instead to the often overwhelming and unreasonable needs of others.
Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting.
People can stand in their own way for countless different reasons. Common types of self-sabotage involve procrastination, perfectionism, relationships, work, finances, time, and change. For example, a perfectionist who wants to complete a task flawlessly may dismiss incremental improvements, when making even a little progress would actually help accomplish their goal.
Choose which pattern most hinders your success, such as procrastination, low self-esteem, or poor financial choices. Identify the triggers for that behavior and make a plan for actions to take instead. For example, if negativity is a problem at work, plan to make one positive comment each day. Embrace improvements, rather than elimination, to make incremental progress toward your goal.
Avoiding behaviors keep us stuck in negative and self-destructive cycles. Common avoiding behaviors include procrastination, chronic tardiness, giving up when things get rough, and lack of assertiveness.
For both narcissists and alcoholics, its all about me. Their needs are primary.While both may function relatively normally in many settings (particularly if not drunk or triggered by the loss of narcissistic supply), their self-focus inevitably re-emerges.
The flylady website is a great tool and I often go there for inspiration on how to approach tasks around the house, both large and small. When you mentioned about having cards that are unmailed, but that are addressed and stamped, I realized that my daughter does that. Hope I haven't passed my "procrastination gene" on to her!
HiFor my 2c worth... as most of you know I am on this board and the ACoA board.I have noticed that one of the traits of an adult child of a dysfunctional home is difficulty in finishing projects.. seeing things to the final product... procrastination is like this isn't it.Perhaps writing those Xmas cards, addressing and stamping them is all good... but actually following through and successfully completing the task!!! Mailing them... well.. that doesn't happen.If I started to do that .. finish projects and stuff.. maybe then I will have to maintain that level of expectation.. eeuurrgghh.. thats too hard. Hey, lets walk the dog instead.I procrastinate on exercise and weight loss. I have great plans.. never follow through.I know I have a fear of success in this area.. strange huh.
Over the past few years I've tried to take ownership of when I'm scared or intimidated and then face what I have to do. At work I really have to watch the procrastination because I can quickly be overwhelmed by way too much in my to do box and not nearly enough time to get it all done!!! 2b1af7f3a8